Peace & Greetings!! Your presence is truly welcome! 😀
In my previous posts I talked about the “whats” in regards to my awakening–what I learned–what I experienced–what I studied. In this final part of The Awakening series I would like to delve a little deeper into how I arrived at this point in my life. Well, lovelies like many of us I am naturally feminine at my core. I was quite different from many of the women in my family and community. I was often told that I was too soft–how I needed to be strong and tough if I didn’t want to be taken advantage of. I was made to think my femininity was a sign of weakness. If only I could work harder, move faster–be arrogant, combative, brazen, harsh–I would somehow be better off–I would be in control. Being strong meant I had to be all of these things–I had to be more masculine. My darlings, this is in no way a judgement of the masculine–I speak in love and acceptance of the masculine essence. What I’m saying beloved is that I didn’t have to search for strength outside of myself–my strength was in my femininity.
My journey towards self discovery began about five years ago. I took a couple of Women’s Studies courses throughout my college years that made me begin to question the Feminist Movement. As my historical and cultural consciousness expanded my focus shifted. I became interested in the relationship between Black women and feminism and its impact on the Black community. This interest of course led to more studying and exploring, which happened both inside and outside the classroom. I began to dig deeper into womanhood, gender and family as it relates to the Black African woman–my search continued to expand until I came into the understanding of the sacred feminine. Magnificent women such as Queen Afua, Shahrazad Ali, Molesey Crawford and Namaste Moore–to name a few–were my distant teachers. Though, I’ve never met these beautiful women–I have learned a great deal from their works. Their messages resonated with me because internally I already understood what they were saying to be true. Like many of us, I just needed a reminder. I needed to rediscover what had been lost. I needed to reclaim my sacred throne.
My environment taught me quite a bit as well. I watched the women around me suffer in silence–physically and emotionally. I’ve witnessed hardworking, overburdened, career-driven women suffer with different health issues. I know of many Black women who suffer from diseases that attack their wombs–friboids, tumors, cysts. Darlings, our precious bodies are not meant to carry all of the stress and burdens we place upon ourselves. Our spiritual and emotional bodies are in constant turmoil as we continue to search for a little bit of happiness and peace. Beloved, there is nothing outside–nothing in the external that can give us that–it must begin from within. I chose to love myself so much that I would live a life of self-fulfillment by any means necessary. I chose to find value within myself–within my femininity. The world is unbalanced–operating more and more in the masculine as the feminine becomes more and more devalued. Darlings, we must restore the Ying and Yang–the sacred polarity.
The most challenging part of my journey was undoing all the conditioning. Having to let go of the ideas and beliefs that no longer served me. Finding my beloved King helped me tie up some of those loose ends. My King is very strong in his masculine and I’ve learned a lot from my relationship with him. Our relationship endured many trials and tribulations that allowed me to put all that I’ve learned into practice. Because he is so strong in his masculine I had no choice but to be strong in my feminine (that is if I wanted to keep him 😉). You see beloved, I was one of those sistas who asked for a strong Black King but when I found him I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think it was safe to be in my feminine (after all it’s one of the lies I’ve been led to belief) so instead, I turned to what I’d been conditioned to think was best. I am thankful that my King was so patient in dealing with all of my crazy lol and I truly love him for it. 😍 Those challenges only made us stronger as individuals and as a couple.
Though, I have come a long way the journey has not ended. There is no end point for me to reach because life is all about growth and improvement. There is always room to be better, greater, more spectacular. The work is never done lovelies. I am still growing and developing into my feminine essence. I am awakened and I will continue to travel this sacred path. My sistas, are you willing to travel with me? 🌹🌹🌹🌹
Thank you for tuning in…Until next time…😊💖